shell-tear-your-world-apart:

endsofadream:

SOMEONE DO A DATE LIKE THIS WITH ME. I’LL EVEN LET YOU TOUCH THE BOOTY.

Now that’s how you get laid boys.

poprocksforbreakfast:

officialfrenchtoast:

"hey don’t you have a crush on…"

image

that gif is perfectly looped wtf

(via all-american-girll)

penishole:

tobeymacguire:

when straight guys ask how lesbian sex works i feel really bad for their girlfriends because if you dont understand how to have sex with a girl in any way other than repeatedly putting your dick in her you are having some really bad sex

I want to reblog this 100 times but I’ll just do it once

(via itsmynavylife)

queenrylan:

esotericalesbians:

it breaks my heart knowing that i will never receive a blowjob

what the fuck why do so many people think they will never receive a blowjob

Because we have vaginas

(Source: barfemoji, via itsmynavylife)

  • person: OMG YOU DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE TEST???!?!?!
  • me: nope
  • person: BUT HOW ARE YOU GONNA PASS???
  • me: i'm not
lyssalovescookies:

flailmorpho:

wastelandbabe:

lowbutt:

MY SCIENCE TEACHER CAUGHT THE TABLE ON FIRE AND HES JUST STARING AT IT

I LOVE SCIENCE TEACHERS

I’M SORRY BUT HOW BADLY DID HE FUCK UP READING HIS CALIPER?


#my environmental science teacher was demonstrating how pumice can float#so she just went around the room dropping them into people’s water bottles#but one of them didn’t float#so then she lit a match and dropped it into the bottle#and it blew up#that’s how we found out that the kid was drinking alcohol at school x
"

THE FIRST TEN LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL

1. We are here to help you.
2. You will have time to get to your class before the bell rings.
3. The dress code will be enforced.
4. No smoking is allowed on school grounds.
5. Our football team will win the championship this year.
6. We expect more of you here.
7. Guidance counselors are always available to listen.
8. Your schedule was created with you in mind.
9. Your locker combination is private.
10. These will be the years you look back on fondly.

TEN MORE LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL

1. You will use algebra in your adult lives.
2. Driving to school is a privilege that can be taken away.
3. Students must stay on campus during lunch.
4. The new text books will arrive any day now.
5. Colleges care more about you than your SAT scores.
6. We are enforcing the dress code.
7. We will figure out how to turn off the heat soon.
8. Our bus drivers are highly trained professionals.
9. There is nothing wrong with summer school.
10. We want to hear what you have to say.

"
Laurie Halse AndersonSpeak (via feellng)

(via youvebeenflynned)